by Bukamuso Sebata
“Knowing that someone loves you is to know that someone trusts you with their heart and that they see something special in you. Feeling that, knowing that daily, being loved, is my kind of happiness as a million little things”.
Tshedza Senwamadi is someone I met at the beginning of the year. I had a problem with my landlord regarding my lease and I needed legal advice. I asked a friend if he knew someone who could help me with that and he recommended her, even though she is doing her second year of law. She managed to point me in the right direction and we hit it off after that. Tshedza is someone I can talk to about anything, everything and all that falls in between. Fun fact: we have never met because she studies at the University of Free State, but she is one of the few people who I can be my most true self around.
When I asked her to define happiness for me, she laughed and said I need to break it down a bit, because happiness is a broad concept. I explained to her what the series focuses on and what its theme is - making people notice the little things that make them happy. She asked, “So, all I have to do is choose small things that make me smile or feel positive, put them together and all that adds to my daily definition of happiness?” The incredulous tone in her voice made me laugh as I replied, “Yes, just that”. She contemplated what I said and agreed to humour me. She says if she had to really define happiness, it would be loving and being loved. Tshedza says that loving someone and having someone to take care of is what makes her happy.
She continues to say, “I feel like we live in a time where loving and trusting are portrayed as these things to be scared of, things that produce nothing but pain and sorrow”. She says she acknowledges that this is true, but also highlights that just as a coin has two sides, all that pain and sorrow has a side containing strength, beauty and “all-time positive vibes”. She says, “There is this negative idea about loving instilled in everyone’s mind that we all end up sharing this fear-driven collective idea or belief that we will get hurt. I get that this is all true, but sometimes loving is happiness, it is strength, and it is beautiful”.
Senwamadi says strength is choosing to love even though you know it will hurt. “For me, happiness is knowing that I choose that kind of strength every day. Knowing that I choose to love even though the odds seem against me. That’s what makes me happy”, she says. She continues to say, “It shows that you can choose to trust someone and give yourself willingly to those in your life. And this is my concept of happiness: loving the people in my life every day even though I know it will hurt sometimes”.
I find that, as Tshedza argues, loving and allowing yourself to be loved by those in your life is a beautiful show of strength. These days, you go on Instagram or TikTok and your feed is filled with content of people heartbroken or explaining why you should not trust anyone. This is a romanticised idea that cripples most of us, because we push people away and end up lonely. Knowing that you are loved, trusted and that you love someone is something that can light you up for days. It is a beautiful feeling and feeling that daily is something I envy.
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