Part 2: Happiness is taking it as it comes

by Bukamuso Sebata

As much as happiness constitutes of a million little things, it is also a term that embodies different things daily. It is something that hardly repeats itself and this is what makes it so much precious: the fact that you will experience a different kind of happiness tomorrow. Photo provided by author.

Masego Madisha is one of the few friends I made when I moved to Makhanda last year. She has been an extraordinary friend in more ways than I can count. Being around her brings me a burst of positive energy that sustains me for an entire week. Masego is understanding, caring, and will always make sure you are accommodated. I admire her outlook on life and the way she is constantly true to herself. She is one of those souls that make you feel the simplest kind of happiness. The kind that lights you up instantly by just being around her.

“As much as life is full of fleeting, positive moments that make us happy, there are a few constant ones that will always give you that burst of energy. For me, these little rituals could be waking up to a brand-new day with the sun shining outside my window because I am terrified of the dark and dying in my sleep. It could be having a warm bowl of food in front of me, watching my favourite series or just listening to gospel music on a lazy or busy day. All these rituals create my own solid definition of happiness while every little, temporary thing forms an extension around those rituals”- Masego Madisha.

When asked to define what happiness is, and explain what the concept looks like in her life, she said she cannot pinpoint the emotion to that one specific feeling. She argues, “It is impossible to place emotions under a microscope and point with certainty that they are that thing. Emotions do not belong under a microscope because they are so huge and complex”. “Consider the emotion love: when I tell my mom that I love her, I am not just saying that I love her”, she passionately argues with her hands gesturing all over.

Madisha continues, “When I tell her that I love her, I am indirectly or alternatively saying she is the most important person in her my life, I am thanking her for raising me and for always taking care of me, I am telling her that I appreciate her and that my world basically revolves around her”. She solidifies the fact that when you love someone, it is not fixed around that one characteristic that they possess. It is a continuous cycle in the sense that there is always something new to discover about them.

“In this sense, it does not make sense for me to say happiness is this and this or that it looks like this”, she says. According to Masego, happiness is a flexible and recyclable concept that embodies different forms, ideas, people and events every day. She continues, “the kind of happiness I would have defined yesterday can never be the same as the one I can define to you right now or tomorrow”. For her, happiness is an ever-changing concept that constitutes of a million of things that make her feel positive or happy.

These could be being financially stable, being around friends, rewatching the Harry Potter movie series, making new friends or having her roommates deliver food to her bedroom. Masego Madisha says, “All these little things form what I would define as happiness, but here is the tricky part: there is no way that all the days will play out the same. Khanya may not cook for me, Mamsi might not send me a funny meme and I might not rewatch my favourite movie series. Does that mean that I am not happy on that particular day?” she asks.

Madisha answers her question, “No. Because all these things that I have told you make me happy are fleeting things, moments that I might never get back and I have made peace with that. What I try to achieve is finding new things to make me happy with each day that I get to live. So, if I really had to define happiness, I would say it is taking each new day as it comes and just being grateful and appreciative of the fact that I get to experience a new version of happiness every day for as long as I shall live”.

I find that, just as Masego argues, happiness is a term that evolves by the minute. It is an emotion that changes constantly as the day goes by. What I would define as happiness to you right now is radically different to what I considered as happiness two weeks ago or even yesterday. Emotional and personal growth can happen overnight because the experiences that shape our ideas and concepts are constantly changing. Everyday comes with its own uncertainties and you cannot live by yesterday’s definition of happiness. You never know what a new day will bring nor how it will affect your existing definition of happiness. The best thing you can do is take the day as it comes and make peace with the fact that you need to constantly update your definition of happiness.