Not her oyster: The untold story of girlhood across the globe

By: Munei Zoe Mbedzi

“I feel that God made my body perfect the way I was born. Then the man robbed me, took away my power, and left me a cripple. My womanhood was stolen. … I just pray that one day no woman will have to experience this pain.” - Waris Diries. 

Disclaimer: This article isn’t about me telling the story of girls who have fallen victim to Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)—child marriages, rape, and abuse—but rather this article seeks to center their voices. Society often tells women to stay strong, as if our pain should inspire others, but pain isn't uplifting, and trauma isn't colourful; it's deep, dark, and piercing.

Girl holding a sign advocating for Woman's rights. Picture from Pintrest

According to the World Health Organization, more than 230 million women and girls have undergone FGM, mainly in 30 countries, especially in Asia, Africa, and the Middle East. FGM is an extremely harmful cultural practice that has no benefits; it causes both physical and psychological pain. This injustice takes place to girls from infancy to the age of 15. We live in a society that tells us to overlook burdens because they can create light, but allow me to fill you in on the captivating details of what actually happens to girls and women on an international scale.

Zambia operates in a dual legal system, statutory and customary law. Under the statutory law, the legal marrying age in Zambia is 21. However, children can be sold off at the age of 16 with legal written parental consent; this not only increases the rate of HIV and AIDS in the country but also increases the statistic of girls who have had to drop out of school, thus having their education suspended. Yet society tells us that the world is our oyster and that we can be whoever we want to be and do whatever we want to do, but for some girls—I say, for most girls—this is not the case. If a girl in Zambia wants to become a doctor, she can't go to med school to study because she's chained to a kitchen she didn't create and has to answer to a man her father's age. There’s a common misconception that when women speak out about the challenges they face, they’re raging feminists, simply seeking attention, or being overly emotional. In reality, many are speaking from a place of deep frustration and exhaustion—tired of being overlooked, tired of the stories of women lost to violence, and tired of seeing girls struggle for access to the same opportunities as boys. If advocating for equality is misunderstood, so be it—but we can’t let these misconceptions silence our voices or limit our potential.

Girls and women in South Africa can't peacefully go to the post office, go on dates, or even go jogging without being harassed, raped, and then murdered. Kistern Klyests was a teacher who could have made the world her oyster by going international or starting a school of her own. Uyinene Mrwetanya was a university student who didn’t get the opportunity to walk across a graduation stage, and Olorato Mongale had love dangled in her face, then stripped from her as she was being murdered.

A banner of the Uyinene Mrwetyana Foundation. Picture from: news.uct.ac.za

Females across the world need more resources, more money, and more voices. We need leaders guided by integrity and committed to serving with honesty and accountability. We need laws that serve the needs of both men and women, promoting fairness, equality, and meaningful change for all. The time for progress is now. Political leaders and international organisations need to not only fight for us but also with us. World peace isn’t impossible if we all work together. We want to be seen as more than our bodies and face cards, more than just baby-making machines and hands that can make home-cooked meals; we want to be seen as people. We want respect, we want peace, and we want to live. Before teaching our daughters how to be wives, let us teach them how to be leaders and how to fight against a system that extends their oppression.